Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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