Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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