I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Randomize
