sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
