i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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