So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
