drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
