I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
