The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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