Ambien. No doubt about it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
