My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
