hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
