Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
