There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
