I just cut my nipple shaving
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
