Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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