either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
