I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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