The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
