whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i've created a new STD.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
