That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
