i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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