turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
