Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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