i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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