are you still at the devil's house?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
