Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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