He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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