he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
