4 words: hood of his car
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
