ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Randomize
