i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
