some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
