So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
how does that bad decision feel?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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