The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
