How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
