so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
