no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
