Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
