I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Actions speak louder than pants.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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