Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
