You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
