her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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