when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
