You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
