Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
im holly from the hills drunk
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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