i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
