So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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