i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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