how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
