the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
40s are totally the cure
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
