He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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